The time following the death of someone close to you is something we can never fully prepare for. Along with the emotional process of grieving, having trouble sleeping is a common experience. There isn’t a magic solution, but you can work on the things that keep you up and try doing things differently to promote better sleep.
Soothe the Senses
Even when you’re going through something as devastating as grief, your environment plays a major role in how you feel. Focus some attention on your bedroom to ensure it’s an environment that makes you feel calm. Color has an especially strong effect on emotions and energy, so it can help to change the colors in your room. Paint your bedroom walls in soothing earth tones, and steer clear of bright colors because they are energizing.
If you have lost your spouse, your bedroom is a space that probably reminds you of your loss. Not that you ever forget them, but when you see their belongings and the space you shared together, that feeling can be more intense. It’s normal to avoid the space or hang on to things, but it may also help to redecorate and create a space that feels like your own.
What to Avoid
Your environment is key to better sleep, but your habits are also important. Think about whether you’re doing any of these things that interfere with sleep.
- Food and Drinks: What you eat and drink before bed can really affect your sleep. Avoid anything with caffeine later in the day and avoid heavy and high-fat foods before bed. Also, stop drinking any liquids close to bedtime, as getting up at night to go to the bathroom can be a major disruption to your sleep.
- Electronics: Research has shown that using electronics at night can disrupt your body’s internal clock. Sometimes, people with insomnia think they’ll watch TV until they feel sleepy and then go back to bed, but watching TV can make it harder for you to sleep. Using your smartphone or tablet before bed can have the same effect.
What to Do Instead
Getting better sleep depends not only on what you don’t do but also on being intentional about doing things that promote better sleep.
- Exercise: Being physically active during the day is one of the best ways to take care of yourself at this time and also sleep better. Studies have shown that those who don’t exercise have more trouble sleeping at night than people who do. If you’re starting a fitness routine, make sure to set realistic goals and to find a workout that you enjoy.
- Quiet Your Mind at Night: When you’re avoiding the use of electronics at night, what are you doing to replace them? Start by creating a bedtime routine and setting a regular bedtime. Make your bedtime routine all about relaxing and quieting your mind so you can rest easier. One idea is to write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal before bed. Simply writing your worries down can help get them out of your mind for a while. Many people who have lost a loved one also find that keeping a grief journal helps. The blog Tiny Buddha explains how writing in a grief journal allows you to focus on happy memories while also processing those tough emotions.
- Get Help from High Tech: Sometimes, it’s hard to know what’s keeping you up. This is where new technology devices can help. NBC News recommends trying a sleep-tracking device. These devices help you understand your sleep cycle, and they even include features that create an ambient environment ideal for sleep. With high-tech sleep devices, always check reviews to make sure the device is backed by evidence and isn’t simply a pricey gimmick that won’t really work.
Dealing with a lack of sleep isn’t easy, but it is especially challenging when you’re grieving. Insomnia is hard on your mind and body, and it often leaves you too exhausted to care for yourself, both physically and emotionally. By proactively switching up some of these habits, you can stop that cycle and start feeling better tonight.
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